Joel Yaeger

To Chuck’s family…..

 

I just heard of Chuck’s passing and I am very grateful for this opportunity to express my sorrow and my condolences to you. My heart goes out to you all.

 

Chuck was my very first sponsor in AA.

 

He was also the toughest one I’ve ever had.

 

He accepted my request to be my sponsor only if I agreed to listen to him, do whatever he said, (which was always “don’t drink or use, go to meetings, read the big book, and call him often) which, at first I thought were ridiculous demands on my “valuable” time. I thought I had all the answers and was willing to agree only because if I did not agree, I would be in violation of my parole and could be sent away to finish my sentence. I thought I could scam my way past him and through it all. I was really, really, really wrong!

 

Chuck would come to my apartment in St. Cloud. Sometimes he would knock, but every time he would drag my sorry butt off the couch and to a meeting and berate me for having a crappy attitude and then would give me the most warm hugs and then send me home. I am clean and sober today for 25+ years and I thank him directly and often for his persistence and for sharing his love, his experience, his strength and his hope. I thank God for putting him in my life when I needed someone like him most. I think he was one of a kind and I truly believe I would be dead if it weren’t for him.

 

I became a counselor in the recovery field for a while and during that time I developed lectures on various topics that I would give to captive audiences and one of these lectures was on the importance of sponsorship in recovery. The title of this lecture was “A..hole Chuck”.

 

Please forgive me for the title but it matched my initial experience with Chuck and it was my name for him for a long time.

I told him the name and purpose of this lecture and he laughed and said he thought he could do a better lecture titled “A..hole Joel” and the topic would be how to handle know-it-all jerks like me. I still smile when I think of that time.

 

The last time I saw Chuck was in April of 1996 when he came all the way to Nashville, Tennessee to attend my wedding. He asked me if my bride was sick in the head or if I had somehow drugged her in order for her to marry a loser like me. He had a wonderful and loving way of reminding me of my egotistical ways. I will always remember him. His life will always matter deeply to me.

 

My thoughts and prayers are with all of you and if there is anything I can do for you, please feel free to contact me at yaeger00@bellsouth.net.

 

God has got to be smiling. He’s got the best sponsor this world ever produced in my humble (thanks to Chuck) opinion.

 

With sincere condolences coupled with a lot of marvelous memories of Chuck .

 

Love and peace,

Joel Yaeger